How do you know when it's time to break up?

Christmas is a time to give, but it’s also the period with the most breakups. Contrary to the prospect of spending a lot of time and romance with each other, many people start to doubt their relationship around Christmas time. Even divorce applications tend to peak between this time and January.

But knowing when it’s time to break up can be quite a challenge. You will ask yourself the question: Should I try harder to make this relationship better? Or have you wasted too much energy and time on it?

Making a list of the pros and cons of the relationship is also one way to decide. A study from 2018 found that most people can come up with a list of reasons to continue or stop their relationship with their partner. Based on 447 participants who gave open-ended responses to questions related to their relationship, the researchers were able to identify 27 reasons why people want to stay in this relationship.

How do you know when it's time to break up?
Many people start to doubt their relationship around Christmas time.

Common reasons to continue this relationship include sufficient emotional and physical intimacy, family obligations, and financial benefits of being together. Reasons for stopping include distrust, sexual dissatisfaction, too much conflict, incompatibility, dislike of the other person’s personality and finding new people.

So what do we need to do to keep the relationship going and hold the other person in?

The investment model is the way that researchers have tried to understand the balances of constraints. According to this model, there are 3 factors in equal proportion to decide whether people accept to continue to bind each other or not. First, relationship satisfaction is a measure of how positive and negative the person experiences with their partner. When that satisfaction is high enough, people feel that their needs are being met.

This model also deals with the investments people have made in the relationship and can lose. This can include financial investments, such as bank accounts and a shared home, as well as expenses for children, friends or the law. Finally is the quality of the alternatives. They can be finding new objects; But friends, family, and even hobbies, can also represent satisfactions outside of a relationship.

According to the investment model, both satisfaction and investment positively contribute to adoption, while other alternatives can reduce this ratio. Ideally, people would feel extremely satisfied with their relationship. They’ve invested a lot in it and the alternatives feel paler than they already are.

If people are unhappy, are less invested in the relationship, or feel that external things are enough to make them happier, chances are the relationship will break down and they will try to break up.

How do you know when it's time to break up?
Family ties can make your love life harder to break.

In fact, these factors are not easy to define and can be confused with each other in confusing ways. For example, people may overestimate or underestimate the ability to meet new people; or spend a lot of time on their hobbies, making them feel like they have too few or more choices than they really do.

For example, the relationship between Josh and Jordan (research participants), this girl can’t even remember the last time she had fun with her boyfriend. However, in recent weeks, Jordan noticed his colleague Micha when he actively flirted with her. Micha not only has charm but also a lot of common interests with Jordan. Although Jordan is still very happy with Josh and has invested a lot of time and effort in their days together, she may as well decide to leave Josh and see how things go between her and Micha. any.

But even when Hordan listed the pros and cons of her relationship with Josh, she couldn’t know for sure if Micha ultimately wanted a serious relationship with her. Making the final decision was a gamble that Jordan needed to think hard about.

While we see all the benefits of starting a new relationship, some people stay in their current relationship because of the damage they think can cause the other person to leave. , or the losses they themselves will cause.

After all, a breakup is bound to come with suffering as well as physical and emotional effects. Breaking up can also cause people to miss the pursuits that the ex facilitated.

So it’s no surprise that some people fear singleness. Being single can cause many people to achieve less than they want or deserve in a relationship when no obvious alternatives are available. This is often proportional to the fear of regret, which makes us unwilling to break the status quo, even when our reason or intuition tells us not to.

Single people also feel socially isolated. They find themselves lonely and less happy than their romantic counterparts. So, even if people aren’t afraid of being single, the culture and society around them can make them think twice.

If you’re finding yourself considering breaking up, try thinking objectively about the good things in the relationship, what you’ve invested in, and the alternatives you really have. In addition, the fear can also be an important factor. When you think hard enough, you can see the “glimmer light” that will make this relationship better and longer. But it’s not fair that we are still with someone who is simply afraid of being alone.

But what should you do if you’re going to be single this holiday season? First, find fun with friends and family. Social support is an important part of getting through heartbreaking life events, including breakups.

Also, think about everything you’ve learned from the relationship and how it can help you become a better you. Besides, try to see the good side of being single. Although you tend to be afraid of being alone, this is also a time for you to focus on yourself, your goals, and your future needs without worrying about the bondage of your partner.

Whether you’re looking to sever or “re-ignite” your current relationship, getting started can be tough. But just as the New Year is coming, it can bring you countless other opportunities.